*The Innocent Soul*

Here is the innocent soul.

Smiling.

Here is the innocent soul.

Pretending.

Here is the innocent soul.

Hurting.

Ah it’s ok, this innocent soul is no one.

Ah it’s ok, this innocent soul is someone picayune.

So, keep breaking this innocent soul’s heart.

So, keep being oblivious.

This innocent soul doesn’t mind at all.

p.s. I’m just an innocent soul wandering around for a fallen and shining star.

*The Paranoid Android*

Every time I turn around
Something don’t feel right

Just might be paranoid
I’m avoiding the lines because they just might split
Can someone stop the noise?
I don’t know what it is but I just don’t fit

Consider me destroyed
I don’t how to act ’cause I lost my head
I must be paranoid
I never thought it would come to this
I’m paranoid, yeah

Paranoid, The Jonas Brothers.

p.s. Yeah I’m paranoid. I know it’s kinda daft but I have my own reasons. I’m sorry.

*The L word*

I’m a loser, a sore loser.

It sucks and to make matter worst is that he just realised what a loser he was.

He thought he’s strong. He’s supposed to be strong. Nothing and no one could crash his fragile heart into smithereens again. No no, not this time. Alas, he’s weak.

His knees shudder.

His body trembles.

He’s fucking weak! He’s an idiot. An idiot who keeps on denying his true feelings, his inner-side. He wanted to cry his heart out but even his heart pays no heed to him. Because his heart knows that he’s been serving it with deceiful lies, white lies and such.

His heart wouldn’t want to heed the reason of his heartache but a fragment of it still is craving and coveting. He knows he will not find any panacea to medicate such illness because love is never a disease, or so he believes.

But, there will be times when he’ll get annoyed and irritated. Like today.

He knows he should not act or feel this way but it suffocates him to supress all of those emotions inside him. In fact, he’s no Superman.

He’s tired of putting the plain facade everyday.He’s tired to be a good friend, a great friend, just friend. He wants more than that. On the other hand, he doesn’t want to hope because he knows hope kills. The thing with hoping is that, as its name suggests, it will pilot you into a state of delirious, hallucinating about the one thing you covet, then hope will murder you softly, without you realizing it.

Still, he can’t help it. His vulnerable heart is, bit by bit, churning inside and he doesn’t know for how long he’s going to endure, how long he’s going to act pretentious, how long he’s going to be oblivious.

So yeah, I’m a total loser and a real fool.

Enjoy.

p.s. Jamie left because of you.

*Hujan lebat

Terinspirasi secara tiba-tiba dari teori lucu dan juga diri sendiri.

Semua mahu mengaku seni,
Semua benda mahu di puji,
Oh aku orang seni,
Jiwaku halus,
Tiada yang memahami,
Kamu apa tahu?
Hanya duduk bersendiri,
Melayan emosi,

Semua mahu berubah,
Semua harus di ubah,
Itu tidak boleh,
Ini tidak boleh,
Jiwaku suci,
Jiwaku putih,
Tapi,
Siapa kamu mahu tipu?
Dia tahu siapa kamu,
Berubah itu boleh,
Tapi, ke sini kamu toleh,
Untuk siapa,
Kalau bukan untuk Dia,
Sia-sia namanya,

Semua tidak mengaku hipokrit,
Aku lurus, aku naif, aku baik,
Di depan kamu lain,
Di belakang kamu lain,
Itu lumrah,
Jangan jadi baik,
Kalau pujian yang kamu pinta,
Jangan jadi jahat,
Kalau tak tahu apa bendanya,

Teorinya mudah sahaja,

Seni, berubah dan hipokrit,
Itu semuanya kita,
Ya kita,
Aku, kamu, mereka, juga dia,

Oleh itu,
Senang sahaja ceritanya,
Hanya satu teori,
Jadilah diri sendiri

————————————–

~this is my way of protesting to some people who just don’t understand~

*It’s not about me*

*Stupidity, A 1st-class

Last Night, 2.30 am….

(Background music : Love You To Death)

I was almost asleep, while listening to the songs on my phone as my lullaby.Then suddenly some one called..

——————-

Aku : Hello, saper nie?
Dia : Hello, saper nie?
Aku : Ha? Saper nie? Aku tanya ko dulu..
Dia : (he uttered his name)
Aku : Tak kenal pun?? What do you want??
Dia : Nie saper?
Aku : Ko silap number ni? Ko nak apa? Cari saper?
Dia : Ni saper?

I hung up, malas nak layan.

2.35 am, my phone rang again..the same number.

Dia : Hello saper nie?
Aku : Ko saper? Aku tak kenal ko? Nak apa?
Dia : Kat mana ni?
Aku : Shah Alam
Dia : Oh Shah Alam..sorry2
Aku : it’s ok…ok bye

I once again hung up.

2.45 am. He called again!

Dia : Betul ke Shah Alam?
Aku : Betul la..abes ko ingat kat mana?
Dia : Jangan tipu…
Aku : Mende ko nie? What the hell do u want? Buat apa aku nak tipu ko?
Dia : Sumpah tak tipu??
Aku : Yeaaaa (starting to get annoyed)
Dia : Cakap la sumpah
Aku : Sumpah!!!!!

Hung up.

2.50 am

Dia : Ni saper?
Aku : Weh..! what the hell do u want?!
Dia : Nak kenal boleh? Awak saper?
Aku : Tak de saper2..aku lelaki..I repeat lelaki! (he’s a man too)

Hung up!

3.00 am

Dia : So??
Aku : Apa! Aku lelaki la bukan perempuan!
Dia : tak per la..nama apa?
Aku : hey look! Aku mengantuk and nak tido besides aku tak kenal ko la!
Dia : Ni yang nak kenal nie..nama saper?
Aku : Fuck you! (I was tired and desperately in need of sleep)

Hung up..again!

3.10 am

Dia : U wanna fuck me??haha
Aku : Sial! Whatever!!

Hung up! Hung up!

3.15 am-He called
3.20 am-He called
3.24 am-He called
3.30 am-He called

I picked up and put my hand phone beneath my pillow.
*Padan muka ko! Habis kredit!

8.00 am

“one text message received from 017-&^%$#@(*“

-Hai,Good morning dan Selamat Pagi-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*I wonder how daft and stupid this man is and desperate too!

**Bajet suara seksi aku terpikat la?

***Sorry to dissapoint you, I’m not that kind of guy so please berambus!

*Moody

I’m tensed, mood-less and feel like an idiot tonight, I was tagged so here goes:

1) MY TOP 10 FAVOURITE FOOD
-Mom’s dishes!
- Granny’s Nasi Goreng!
- Home-made spagetti
- All dishes from Mak su Dah!
- McD
- Nasi Dagang
- Cheesy Wedges extra cheese from KFC
- All types and kinds of vegetables!
- Nasi Lemak JATI
- Nasi lemak seringgit during Ramadhan!

2) 10 THINGS I LOVE DOING

- Dreaming
- Cam-whoring!
- Reading (certain types of books)
- Shopping!
- Fashion-ing!
- laughing
- Surfing the net
- talking to myself
- sleeping or rather rolling aimlessly on the bed
- ‘gedik’-ing *to certain people only*

3) 5 types of person that i adore

- ones who are good looking
- ones who know what to put on their bodies
- one who is real
- those who know how to literally speak and shut their mouth
- those who make me melt whenever I look at them

4) 5 THINGS I LOVE DOING WHEN I’M FEELING DOWN

- I smoke! *that’s a very bad example!*
- I used to have a diary and I like to write in it of what I’m feeling but currently I’m not attached to it and I don’t really know why?
- I used to cry silently too but I just can’t force myself to shed tears nowadays..getting stronger perhaps?
- I walk alone and reminisce or I would talk to myself
- I would scream

5) 5 THINGS I LOVE DOING WHEN I’M HAPPY

- smile sheepishly like a crazy man *a pervert’s smile*
- laugh my heart out
- I become more ‘gedik’ even I myself can’t help it!
- I talk to myself too
- I would jump and walk childishly

6) 10 WAYS TO WIN MY HEART

- take me as I am
- love me as I love you
- don;t break my heart, it’s already broken
- be there for me whenever I need you coz I’ll always be there for you
- make me smile and laugh
- endure the crazy level of my gedik-ness or even can join me and together we would spread our gedik-ness
- treat me and my family right the way I would treat you!
- surprise me, yes! coz I love to surprise you too!
- not afraid to do stupid things FOR me and WITH me.. cause I’d do anything for the person I love
- say “I love you” and MEAN IT.

7) MY TOP 5 MOST FAVOURITE JUNK FOOD

- Twisties
- Super Ring
- Nachos
- Jeruk!
- Keropok!

8) 5 THINGS I WISH IT COULD HAPPEN SOON

- be with the ONE..oh please…*crossing finger*
- make the ONE notices my existence!
- turn the friendship into a relationship!
- obtain DL!
- I wanna shrink some kilos!

9) 10 RIDICULOUS THINGS I WISH TO DO BEFORE I DIE

- Complete doing my things-I-wanna-do wish! and they are all crazy stuffs
- I wanna tour with Mikey Way from MCR and Mat Devine from Kill Hannah
- turn my imaginary friends into real persons..I miss you guys!
- Be a skater and competes in x-games! *absurd coz I tried once and I’m so suck at balancing myself on the board*
- Model for a famous clothing label!
- Stranded in an island but with all the necessities with the ONE and we would scuffle over such discrete things and then fall in love *oh sangat LAME! ko gila acad!*
- Cycle around the world with my love ones!
- can actually sing in Royal Albert Hall like Siti did..this is way exceed the term ridiculous!
- be with my crushes oh yes and aku sedar diri that I don’t fit them even an inch!
- sleep the whole day on a green field wearing a white attire with the ONE besides me, gazing at the clouds, running along and counting the stars at night *this is when you vomit!*

10) MY TOP 10 RECENTLY MOST ADDICTED SONG

- Your Guardian Angel –>Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
- Love You To Death   –> Kill Hannah
- A little Piece of Heaven –> Avenged Sevenfold
- Emily –> From 1st to Last
- Gotta Find you –> Joe Jonas *yes he’s one of the Jonas Brothers, so?*
- K.mp3 –> (only certain people know who’s the singer)
- 7 Things I Hate About you –> Miley Cyrus *yes Miley..aku peduli apa!*
- Dear God –> Avenged Sevenfold
- Damn Regret –> Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
-Ada Untukmu –> Nubhan *lagu ni best oke, jangan gelak*

*tak nak tag orang, kalau rasa nk buat silakanlah*