I couldn’t get the coziest sleep for the past few days. Nightmares were haunting my nights, tailing me into the dreamland. Some were bizarre; some were hilariously odd while some were nostalgic. Ex-es, best friends and even crushes, they never stops making me nudging my mind searching for the answers. They left me contemplating, deep.

I don’t know where I am now

I don’t know what I’m doing now

I don’t know who am I now

I am neither floating on the thin air nor walking on the stony ground. I can’t cry when I want to, but tears rolled down my cheek hastily without my permission. I’m happy and am trying to be happy. I tried not to think of the past and the future. I try to do my best in the present. I try to stay calm from the bad perceptions people blatantly threw at me. I try to view things positively whenever people judge me. I’m trying and still.

Something is missing and I couldn’t find the answer to what it is. It’s inexplicable. I’m pursuing the trails of I myself don’t even have an inkling to what I’m searching for.

Maybe LOVE.

Or perhaps LIFE.

I got crushes everyday whenever somebody caught my attention. It’s absurd indeed.

Something is really missing.

I don’t know how long I’m going to endure this.