Archive for December, 2009

*Bicara Hati*

Kadang kadang aku terfikir, setiap kali apabila otak ini teringatkan kau, hati aku terdetik.

Tidak tahu macam mana mahu aku gambarkan.
Tiba-tiba terasa berat.
Tiba-tiba hilang mood.

Aku pelik dan hairan.
Setahu aku, kau sudah aku lepaskan.
Sudah aku terima hakikat bahawa kita tak mungkin bersama.
Sudah aku terima takdir bahawa kau sayang dia lebih dari aku dan segala-segalanya.
Tapi setiap kali gambar kau muncul di benak fikiran ku, minda ku ligat memikirkan kau,
Hati tetap akan rasa sesuatu.

Aku gembira, melihat kamu bersama dia.
Yea aku gembira.
Aku sudah penat mengalirkan air mata.
Aku mahu juga rasa biasa biasa saja, seperti tiada apa yang berlaku.
Walaupun antara kita, ada sejarah yang terpaku di hati.

Tapi aku mahu kau tahu satu perkara,
Hati ini memang akan sentiasa bicara,
Walaupun mindaku berpura-pura
Menidakkan kewujudan perasan yang di pendam.

Bicara Hati.
Aku Mati.

p.s. Aku rindu kau dan masa dulu.

*Dancin’ in the dust*

One thing in life I wish I have the knack in is definitely dancing.

I can move and do some this and that in a dance and I just love watching some inspiring great moves from all those passionate dancers.

I love contemporary dance. I think it’s the type of dance which you can pour your limitless expressions, blend in with the music and just dance gracefully with your soul.

It is when you can switch your mind and body off and just let the music trots in your veins and let loose what you have to say, with all the moves and jumps and crunches and so on.

Remember this awesome and handsome guy?

Mark Kanemura from So You Think You Can Dance Season 4.

He is one brilliant dancer I assure you and I just love him to a certain extent I wish I can dance like how he performs with such graceful and poised movements whenever he’s in stage. He got some pretty slick moves too.

He is now touring with Lady Gaga as one of her dancers. In fact, if you pay close attention to Gaga’s  Paparazzi MTV performance, you can easily spot Mark there.

p.s. Imagine a world where people are dancing to their own rhythm and beat. It must be wicked!


I love the feeling of falling in love at first sight and falling head over heels for someone with that ONE glimpse.

p.s. If you haven’t noticed, I kinda like you.

Nick Jonas and The Administration.

Listen to the lyrics.

It made me drew that sheepish smirk on my face.

p.s. For who I am

*The old book*

I’ve been delaying to write an entry about my belated birthday which fell on the last 26th Nov.

Yes I’m officially 22 years old as of speaking, I mean writing. That’s quite a number you know.

As usual, the wishes here and there from friends and strangers, yes strangers. I don’t even know some of the people who wished me that day.

The clock struck exactly 12.01 am that night, showing the sign of a new day. I was watching TV in the living room when I took a glance at the clock on the wall. It didn’t excite me at all for a fact that it was my birthday. I didn’t move or stir any feeling of excitement. That’s pretty bizarre because I always exaggerate everything, even to the most trivial things.

I went into my room with a cup of hot nestum. Grabbed the birthday candle and lit it. Reached for the switch and I turned the light off, the lamp I mean, not the light from the candle. I went to a corner of my gigantic wardrobe and sat, crossing my legs with a cup of hot nestum snugged in hand, in the dark and alone.

I gazed at the burning candle and I hummed the birthday song to myself. It felt surreal but I was embracing every seconds of the moments.

I was reminiscing my life. Been living for almost 22 years, breathing and sharing the same air with the rest of human beings on earth and I thanked God for that. For giving me that blissful opportunity to be a year older. But I must say, I’m not getting wiser. Ha-ha

The candle is burning slowly and I locked my gaze to it while sipping my hot nestum. Flashes of images and memories came bombarding my subconscious mind. I didn’t want to be bothered about that. I just wanted to be engulfed by the silence and darkness of the night.  So I shooed the images and memories away back to where they belong.

A ray of moonlight shone through the metal wired of my rectangle window. It directed exactly to the burning candle. It was aesthetic and mesmerizing, the image of the candle burning with a bit of moonlight lingered around the dark and lifeless room.

I was in a state of euphoria. The darkness freaked me at times, with the sound of whizzing wind outside the window.

I stood up, imbibed the last drop of my nestum and put the mug on the table.

I blew the burning candle that was struggling to stay alive due to the wind that kept trying to blow the light off. I predicted a storm the next day. I noticed something, although the light was already off, I could still see the endless smoke, the aftermath of the burning candle.

I took a risk. I lit the candle back and went to sleep. Paying no heed to the candle that provided some light to the room. However, as time went by, I could see the light started to fade.

The next day, I woke up with sunshine shining through the window. The downpour had been for weeks since I got home but that day the sun decided to flaunt it grace.

I’m blessed.

p.s. A perfect way to celebrate a birthday.