Tag Archive: Stupid

*The L word*


I’m a loser, a sore loser.

It sucks and to make matter worst is that he just realised what a loser he was.

He thought he’s strong. He’s supposed to be strong. Nothing and no one could crash his fragile heart into smithereens again. No no, not this time. Alas, he’s weak.

His knees shudder.

His body trembles.

He’s fucking weak! He’s an idiot. An idiot who keeps on denying his true feelings, his inner-side. He wanted to cry his heart out but even his heart pays no heed to him. Because his heart knows that he’s been serving it with deceiful lies, white lies and such.

His heart wouldn’t want to heed the reason of his heartache but a fragment of it still is craving and coveting. He knows he will not find any panacea to medicate such illness because love is never a disease, or so he believes.

But, there will be times when he’ll get annoyed and irritated. Like today.

He knows he should not act or feel this way but it suffocates him to supress all of those emotions inside him. In fact, he’s no Superman.

He’s tired of putting the plain facade everyday.He’s tired to be a good friend, a great friend, just friend. He wants more than that. On the other hand, he doesn’t want to hope because he knows hope kills. The thing with hoping is that, as its name suggests, it will pilot you into a state of delirious, hallucinating about the one thing you covet, then hope will murder you softly, without you realizing it.

Still, he can’t help it. His vulnerable heart is, bit by bit, churning inside and he doesn’t know for how long he’s going to endure, how long he’s going to act pretentious, how long he’s going to be oblivious.

So yeah, I’m a total loser and a real fool.


p.s. Jamie left because of you.



tagged by T.A.J.U.L long ago, and I’m frigging bored. This would take me for ages to drill into my mind searching the weird things about me.Heck I think I’m weird myself.

State 15 weird things/ habits/ little known facts about yourself.* The 10 people I tag are to then to follow my footsteps and write their own 15 weird things/habits and little known facts

  1. I was dubbed as Che Tak back in high school due to some silly occurrences. I used to despise the name but now I care not.It’s not nice, the name I mean.
  2. I’m a jealous person. Oh yes I am.However, I’m learning to cope with it but it’s damn hard you know. But now I think I manage to handle it well.People say because my eyebrows are literally connected to each other.Kata orang tua2
  3. I can’t look into one’s eyes when talking coz it’s terrifying.I don’t know what ignites it but I just can’t dwell into some one’s eye, either I’ll go blazing red or I’ll have this awkward feeling.
  4. I fall in love within a glimpse I must say. Easily at times even I myself can’t help it. Stupid kan?
  5. I love making faces and I talk to myself. It’s not absurd, it’s just a hobby.I snicker myself and I shower myself with praises.Sebabnya tak ramai puji saya so lebih baik puji diri sendiri, self motivation.Motivasi la sangat!
  6. I love women with high heels coz I think they are sexy that way. Besides it’s not easy to walk with your feet literally like tiptoeing. Also I’m attracted with short-haired women, the shorter the better.Sometimes those who wear purdah too, just looking at their eyes make me wonder about their innerself, I think they are sexy in their own way!
  7. I’m quite a shy guy.Yes.It depends on certain people too.But obviously I’m not that type of guy that will make friends rather too swift. It takes times to get to know me better.
  8. I have an eclectic and eccentric friends, imaginary friends. I have lots of them since I was little up until now.We grew up together. I talk to them, sleep with them, bathe with them and do everything. Jamie is one of the dearest, Fede too and Aqui.Sometimes I will confess to them about my problems. Our friendship is surreal. They have their own life, which I created. But once in a year, we would gather together, it’s like a reunion.
  9. I’m an obsessive person.I can go berserk over something and someone. And when I’m obsessed I can be pretty much annoying.Damn it!
  10. I posses vibrating hands.No kidding.Both my hands vibrate, it’s not an illness, it’s just vibrate and tremble. People can’t look at it or else it’ll vibrate more.Couple of years ago it was like so severe, I have to hold the other one so that it’ll stop trembling.No it’s Parkinson either.It’s just vibrate!
  11. I used to think that I’m a mutant because whenever I gazed at  something, the vision would double.I have migraine, but I used to think that I’m a psychic because of the pain.
  12. I’m a very sensitive person.it depends on situation and the persons too.
  13. I got surprised like shit easily.
  14. I don’t usually afraid of things.Its just I’m so lemah semangat.Once I held the tail of a phython while screaming and bashing the snake till dead. However, my greatest fear is ulat gonggok.Had a traumatic experience when I was little.
  15. I hate my hair, that’s why I fancy looking at other’s hair.My hair has 3 layers of hair ‘dressing’.the first is moisturiser, then the cream/wax/rubber and then I conclude it with a spray yet I think my hair looks ugly.

*Stupidity, A 1st-class

Last Night, 2.30 am….

(Background music : Love You To Death)

I was almost asleep, while listening to the songs on my phone as my lullaby.Then suddenly some one called..


Aku : Hello, saper nie?
Dia : Hello, saper nie?
Aku : Ha? Saper nie? Aku tanya ko dulu..
Dia : (he uttered his name)
Aku : Tak kenal pun?? What do you want??
Dia : Nie saper?
Aku : Ko silap number ni? Ko nak apa? Cari saper?
Dia : Ni saper?

I hung up, malas nak layan.

2.35 am, my phone rang again..the same number.

Dia : Hello saper nie?
Aku : Ko saper? Aku tak kenal ko? Nak apa?
Dia : Kat mana ni?
Aku : Shah Alam
Dia : Oh Shah Alam..sorry2
Aku : it’s ok…ok bye

I once again hung up.

2.45 am. He called again!

Dia : Betul ke Shah Alam?
Aku : Betul la..abes ko ingat kat mana?
Dia : Jangan tipu…
Aku : Mende ko nie? What the hell do u want? Buat apa aku nak tipu ko?
Dia : Sumpah tak tipu??
Aku : Yeaaaa (starting to get annoyed)
Dia : Cakap la sumpah
Aku : Sumpah!!!!!

Hung up.

2.50 am

Dia : Ni saper?
Aku : Weh..! what the hell do u want?!
Dia : Nak kenal boleh? Awak saper?
Aku : Tak de saper2..aku lelaki..I repeat lelaki! (he’s a man too)

Hung up!

3.00 am

Dia : So??
Aku : Apa! Aku lelaki la bukan perempuan!
Dia : tak per la..nama apa?
Aku : hey look! Aku mengantuk and nak tido besides aku tak kenal ko la!
Dia : Ni yang nak kenal nie..nama saper?
Aku : Fuck you! (I was tired and desperately in need of sleep)

Hung up..again!

3.10 am

Dia : U wanna fuck me??haha
Aku : Sial! Whatever!!

Hung up! Hung up!

3.15 amHe called
3.20 amHe called
3.24 amHe called
3.30 amHe called

I picked up and put my hand phone beneath my pillow.
*Padan muka ko! Habis kredit!

8.00 am

“one text message received from 017-&^%$#@(*

-Hai,Good morning dan Selamat Pagi-


*I wonder how daft and stupid this man is and desperate too!

**Bajet suara seksi aku terpikat la?

***Sorry to dissapoint you, I’m not that kind of guy so please berambus!